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Golden Showers

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Golden Showers

On January 17, 2016, Posted by , In testimonials, With No Comments

Golden Showers describing the still early Pope Benedikt as a series of plodding dots

Hello Golden,

Barada Nitku friends, be welcomed.

How have things been going with you and the cult?

I’ve been overwhelmed by responses both real and imaginary. Most of the imaginary applicants were rejected because they had no physical form to feel and do things with, not sexual things, unless they were into it, which they weren’t. We met with some passionate young sparks for the position of Junior Believer and we believe they will make a valuable dynamic contribution to the team once they put aside their dependence on material things such as ‘free time‘ and ‘a salary‘.

And what about the big guns? The core?

Well as you know were looking to recruit thirteen seniors. By my calculations that would put us exactly one better than Jesus and his crew or, if one betrayed me I could revise him from the history of the cult and still have the full twelve non betrayers. So it would be one better than Jesus no matter which way you look at it.

People usualy get into trouble comparing themselves to Jesus.

That is actually something Jesus and I laugh about. Not many people have the kind of close, deeply personal relationship that we have. For me Jesus is someone I can count on if I need help fixing my bike or carrying groceries. I mean he doesn’t do those things for me but I really feel he is guiding me and helping me achieve my goals on my own terms and with my own two hands.

Sounds like a good friend to have. So back to core culties?

Right. have had a few fulfilling non-verbal conversations, mostly compliments on my Galabiyya and Doppa combo which everyone agrees was very well accented by my leader-like chest hair. That part of me reflects very much my strong and real connection with the prophet David Hasselhoff, after all, aren’t we all just looking for freedom? Especially our chest hair, it can not be constrained.

Have you talked to David recently?

I believe I have, I talked to a man in a bar, I mean he was David Hasselhoff but just not ready to accept it yet, so we had a very deep non verbal session where we talked a little about what KITT was really like when the cameras stopped rolling and possible logo designs for the cult.

David Hasselhoff in a bar sounds like the start and end of a great night.

Any last words to go out on?

Passion, dynamism, questioning, everything. How many words do I have left?

 

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